Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize