This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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