Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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