it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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