Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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