No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
