Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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