I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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