his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
