Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
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It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
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I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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