I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
