Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
They are going to name an STD after you.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
