90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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