She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
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I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
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Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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