im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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