4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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