Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Your dad touched me again.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
it's great music for shaving your balls
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
