Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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