and she was petting her beer can
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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