I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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