I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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