I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
