a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize