we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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