She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
