so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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