i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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