I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
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Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
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Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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