I'm so fucking centered right now
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
