Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
