Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
