Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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