Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize