Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize