so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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