Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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