Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize