i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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