Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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