well I can't set my house on fire every night
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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