Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
