On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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