dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
