she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We left the knife in your bed.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
