Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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