I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
