I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
