Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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