so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So vagazzling was a success
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
