just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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