Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
