How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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