If i come over, it means nothing
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
