Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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