I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
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He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
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her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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