yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
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You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
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Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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