I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
